Growing up, the thought of one day being a woman was not something I ever feared. If anything, it seemed quite glamorous to me. The dresses, the makeup, and that stuff they called “coffee” that apparently stunted my growth. It was enticing. When I was a little girl, I remember looking up to the woman in my life and seeing happiness. I was oblivious to the struggles hiding beneath the surface.
When I was in middle school, I had my first taste of what it looked like for a boy to make you feel worthless. I can still hear the comments being made on the school bus, in front of my friends, about how flat-chested I was. About how chubby I was. About how those glasses made me nerdy. That was my first encounter with a boy attempting to steal my freedom away. My freedom to choose confidence.
When I was in high school, I remember how it felt to feel something for someone for the very first time. I remember the newness of it. I remember how it felt to be wanted by someone. I remember what it felt like as that feeling began to diminish as they began to look elsewhere. I remember the feeling of finding out about it. I remember the feeling of rejection, of humiliation, of the pain of never being good enough.
I remember the feeling of helplessness. One many of us are too familiar with.
However, I also remember the feeling of falling in love. I remember finding the person who was everything I have never had before, and finding the person who loved me for who I was. I remember the comfort. I feel that love every day.
However, those feelings of helplessness did not stay in high school. Little did I know that the little girl playing on the playground, being chased by boys, would grow up to be the woman running from men. Little did I know that little girl would grow up to be the woman who had to run with pepper spray just for her own sanity. Who has had so many terrifying encounters with men that she can’t go anywhere without that fear inside of her. Little did I know that the little girl running from boys on the playground, would become the grown woman who was followed out of a Starbucks by a man who asked if he could drive her somewhere, after repeatedly shouting “no”.
I am a grown woman, but I am still running from the same little boys who can’t understand the word “no”, and seem to think that they can have whatever they want. Like we are toys to be collected.
As women, it is vital for us to always rememeber that we are more than what some men make us out to be. We are the strongest humans on the planet. We are worth more than any man could ever make us feel. We were made with such precision and such purpose, nothing could ever stand in our way. It is our time to stand together. It is our time to be fearless.
Men: We know there are good ones out there. We know not all of you have the worst intentions. You cherish our hearts, you love us so powerfully, and you would protect us till the end. We see you, we value you, we respect you, and we appreciate the fact that you are still out there.
Lifeline 