Yesterday, I was scrolling through Jefferson Bethke’s youtube channel (because he and his wife are the bomb), when I came across a video that they had posted talking about healthy relationships. Being in an already healthy relationship, I decided to watch it to gain more wisdom on how to make it even healthier. Jefferson Bethke first begins to point out how we sometimes get so caught up and infatuated with our significant other, that we subconsciously allow that person to become our “god”. As a christian, I at first thought that statement did not reign true in my own heart. I believe in only one God and I worship him alone. However, as I allowed God to unravel deep in my heart, I began to realize the problem that so many of us face every day.
Psalm 146:3-5
“Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God.”
Acts 4:12
“Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be save”
We tend to judge those who worship “false gods” that can be physically seen. However, we don’t realize that we worship something or someone every second of our lives. If it is not Jesus every second of every day, then we are making things our “false gods”. It can be a significant other, food, porn, alcohol,drugs, or even tv. Whatever it may be, we are a slave to that thing or person when we make them the center of our lives, or our “god”. When God, the one true living God, is not in the center of our lives, everything begins to crumble. Relationships may be destroyed, jobs may be lost, anxieties may rise, and life seems to be falling apart. It’s hard to build a solid life on a rocky foundation. Having Jesus at the center of your life can change everything because he is the anchor on which you can place all of your hope. The sold rock on which you can stand when all around you may be sinking sand.
Getting back to relationships. Relationships are what God created to mend humans together. From the very beginning with Adam and Eve, Jesus wanted relationships to be a thing that helped form this world. However, our world is a fallen world. Sin is absolutely everywhere and the devil is on the prowl. Just turn on the tv or listen to the radio and you will hear and see sexual references/jokes, objectification of women and men, and idolization of material possessions. All of this intoxicates people. Desires and lust run wild and there seems to be no stopping it. However, did we forget about who has already claimed the victory? Jesus Christ has defeated death and overcame the devil. None of this can consume us if our relationships are rooted in Jesus and Jesus alone. When we don’t follow God’s commandments and don’t treat our bodies like the temples they were created to be, we risk losing ourselves. Relationships, when founded in Jesus, can take root in jesus alone and can sprout beautiful roses that sing the Lord’s praises.
When we make a conscious decision to take control of our relationships, you will see something truly beautiful happen. Fights and arguments will begin to diminish or lessen in intensity. Lustful passions will be easier to fight back because of the roots pf Jesus that have taken hold in your heart already. When you and your boyfriend/girlfriend have a heart full of Jesus, there isn’t room for any lust or jealousy to squirm its way in. It can’t be just one sided as well. Both people have to be invested in this and leaning into Jesus and his word daily, praying for one another continuously. I am not saying you shouldn’t love your significant other and make them an important part of your life, thats not what I am saying at all. Just be cautious not to make them your “idol”. By making them this, or more important than Jesus, little arguments and disappointments can become big arguments and disappointments because that person has become, as Jefferson Bethke put it, “your living savior”. Or your “Jesus replacement” you could say. Jesus should be higher above anything and anyone else. Be consciously giving that person over to the Lord every day.
Jesus has a plan bigger than any of our own. If you are in an unhealthy relationship right now, don’t lose hope. It is never too late to come back to Jesus, because he has open arms 24/7. When you think you have sinned too deeply to come back to Jesus and for him to love you, think again. Jesus wants nothing more than for his precious son/daughter to come running back to him.
To those in a stable relationship right now, I encourage you to keep doing what your doing, but to never stop searching for ways to strengthen your relationship with each other. Also, do not risk becoming too comfortable where you are in both your relationship with your significant other/spouse and with Jesus. Keep that fire burning through the one who’s light is brighter than all of the stars in the galaxy. Jesus. Jesus will reveal to you things about each other that will help strengthen the relationship and will ultimately bring him glory.
To single peeps, this post is very much for you too. I have two words for you. NEVER SETTLE. Ever. This is very hard to do, especially coming off of a really tough break up. However, do not let yourself do that. Jesus wants your heart first before you give it away to anyone else. Take this time to strengthen your relationship with the Lord so that he may reveal to you the right person at the right time. He has you right where he wants you. Singleness isn’t meant to punish you. It’s meant to grow you and help you to discover who you truly are in jesus. So relax and enjoy the ride. When your time comes, you will be absolutely amazed at how much God is able to outdo himself through another human being. I know I was absolutely blown away when this happened to me. So please don’t lose hope. Your story has already been written and it is just beginning.
HERE IS JEFFERSON BETHKE’S VIDEO
It is seriously amazing and you will not regret watching it…
Lifeline 